He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
