too bad you live with your parents still
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
