Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Randomize
