sorry about calling you the devil all night.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
