guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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