I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
