I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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