Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
