I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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