I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
