I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Randomize
