My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
