Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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