Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
