i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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