ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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