I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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