i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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