new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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