We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
