shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Randomize
