That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
