Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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