What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
