Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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