dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
