dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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