i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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