why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
