So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
