First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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