i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
