he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
pray to the hookup gods
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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