You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
