Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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