you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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