I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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