I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
