Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
