Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
