If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
