This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
