So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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