That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
