She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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