Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
