Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
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It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
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Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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