the condom got lost in my hair
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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