scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
