You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize