So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
