i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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