Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.

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  (415): Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events. http://tfl.nu/5em3
  Replies (16) Good night (2327) Bad night (883)
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  (972): View more from Texas

  she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.

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  (972): she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick. http://tfl.nu/7fj1
  Replies (16) Good night (5710) Bad night (736)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.

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  (702): omg a stripper jus od'd on stage. http://tfl.nu/hgsr
  Replies (42) Good night (1992) Bad night (6217)
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  (516): View more from New York

  The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".

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  (516): The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina". http://tfl.nu/tnih
  Replies (17) Good night (7834) Bad night (1180)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom

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  (913): I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom http://tfl.nu/jxft
  Replies (9) Good night (4465) Bad night (956)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.

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  (952): I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was. http://tfl.nu/9bfo
  Replies (6) Good night (2622) Bad night (1527)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes

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  (248): whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes http://tfl.nu/s924
  Replies (10) Good night (3600) Bad night (1435)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.

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  (+44): Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying. http://tfl.nu/fnbb
  Replies (9) Good night (3662) Bad night (1691)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.

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  (513): Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette. http://tfl.nu/g7cy
  Replies (2) Good night (1456) Bad night (685)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable

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  (817): she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable http://tfl.nu/cijd
  Replies (13) Good night (738) Bad night (2002)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Touche salesman.

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  (402): You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less. (1-402): Touche salesman. http://tfl.nu/st32
  Replies (2) Good night (1210) Bad night (583)
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  (478): View more from Georgia

  I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.

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  (478): I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second. http://tfl.nu/3zb1
  Replies (2) Good night (1123) Bad night (590)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.

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  (251): My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult. http://tfl.nu/4jpl
  Replies (0) Good night (755) Bad night (313)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?

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  (508): I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK? http://tfl.nu/s17s
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (387)
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  (530): View more from California

  I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?

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  (530): I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding? http://tfl.nu/e1mv
  Replies (0) Good night (309) Bad night (180)

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