you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.