Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(907): View more from Alaska

Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.

(1-907): View more from Alaska

Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..

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(310): View more from California

based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment

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(310): View more from California

So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity

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(519): View more from Ontario

He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.

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(510): View more from California

if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.

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