Texts From Last Night

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  (912): View more from Georgia

  He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.

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  (912): He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter. http://tfl.nu/k17d
  Replies (14) Good night (744) Bad night (2137)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.

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  (678): Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol. http://tfl.nu/nnbo
  Replies (7) Good night (1199) Bad night (2291)
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.

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  (229): Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment. http://tfl.nu/tuh7
  Replies (39) Good night (12121) Bad night (1009)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car

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  (516): i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car http://tfl.nu/yqns
  Replies (27) Good night (1419) Bad night (5788)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys

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  (570): I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys http://tfl.nu/u1dh
  Replies (21) Good night (1380) Bad night (3726)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was literally just a half conscious dildo.

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  (570): I was literally just a half conscious dildo. http://tfl.nu/oo11
  Replies (16) Good night (4547) Bad night (1596)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.

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  (815): I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them. http://tfl.nu/dcim
  Replies (4) Good night (3590) Bad night (986)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....

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  (910): there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time.... http://tfl.nu/4vkt
  Replies (7) Good night (3089) Bad night (1336)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.

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  (781): Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds. http://tfl.nu/prwv
  Replies (4) Good night (1584) Bad night (631)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.

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  (720): By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air. http://tfl.nu/rzj6
  Replies (3) Good night (1339) Bad night (896)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".

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  (920): You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died". http://tfl.nu/180h
  Replies (4) Good night (1059) Bad night (407)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I immediately regret the tequila decision.

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  (248): I immediately regret the tequila decision. http://tfl.nu/ptpj
  Replies (4) Good night (662) Bad night (429)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle

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  (905): I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle http://tfl.nu/bb9s
  Replies (2) Good night (791) Bad night (319)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move

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  (563): We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move http://tfl.nu/ck25
  Replies (1) Good night (456) Bad night (232)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.

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  (630): Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure. http://tfl.nu/6394
  Replies (5) Good night (443) Bad night (230)

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