like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
