whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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