There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Everyone says I win the strip club
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
