i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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