the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
